I Want My Country Back


What’s been happening with our country? We’ve let corrupt politicians, greedy corporations and illegal aliens subvert the will of the people and it’s gone on far too long. Seriously folks, it’s time to take our country back. Let’s get out there and take it back. Right now! Who’s got it? Who the hell took the country? Did you? Did someone you know take it? If you know who took it and you’re not helping me get it back then you pretty much took it.  If I find out who took my country and they don’t give it back I swear to god I’m gonna punch them right in the taint.  So I’m asking you one American to another just give me back our god damn country. You hear me! GIVE IT BACK. Seriously I’m not going to ask again. GIVE ME BACK MY COUNTRY!!! …

Okay sorry about that I’ve been a bit worked up lately. Lot of stress on my plate. My jobs been rough, boss has been riding my ass, so I’ve been tense. Wife tells me I should try yoga but I know that’s the devil’s work. So let’s try this again.

Please. Can I please have my country back? Pretty Please? Come on. Give it. How about give me half now half later okay. I think that’s fair. I mean how come you get to take all the country and I don’t get any. Seriously. That’s not fair. You could take another country. How about Peru? They have some nice stuff there. Seriously Peru. Take Peru. Damn it. GIVE ME BACK MY COUNTRY. NOW! NOW! NOW!

Okay. Once again. Sorry about that. It’s been a rough month. Gonna calm down now.  I’ve been to a few meetings about my anger so I’m gonna do what they suggest and count to 10 and take a deep breath…. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9…. GIVE ME BACK MY COUNTRY YOU SON OF A BITCH!

Stan Gruffly is a avid taxidermist and beef jerky enthusiast. He writes poetry in his free time and campaigns for a candidate who will remain nameless but whose last name rhymes with grump.